Sebuah Frekuensi Kehidupan

My life is a combination of success and failure that comes with love, passion and care

16.9.05

I hate backstabbing people...I really hate people who wear mask to cover up their real identity..I really hate this guy at my work place. hecks! the positive side of it, well....I know I'm working in BII based on my uncle references, at least I work naturally, I work and go on with the flow...I'm not trying to be sort of the boss's pet.

sometimes I simply laugh at what I got in the office, laugh at that guy who act so childish, I mean, if you got problem with your peers, you are a 24 y.o guy, settled with it...settle your problems. keep reporting your complaints to the boss won't settle anything.

Wielianto Santoso, work as man, and act like a man.....stop being childish, you're facing a tough world.. Siba Geseki!

14.9.05

ever feel pissed but cannot express it?
ever feel like to mad like hell, but there's no way to express it?
ever feel underestimated?
ever feel tired with all things you've tried to do?
ever feel tired with all your routines?

he really piss me off now
he really make me mad
he really did underestimate me
he really make me tired to do all these things
he really make me tired with all my routines
he is so selfish

company rule
1. boss is always right
2. if the boss did mistake, look for number 1 rule..

I am pissed
I am mad
I am angry
I am tired

I am not kind of person who can pretends nothing has happened
I am not kind of person who can talk nicely to the related person
I rather not to talk with him, or I would scream at him
I am a person with full of expression
where people can read my face looks, whether I'm happy or mad
So, I will keep silent than talk
I keep all the matters to myself
I keep it inside and lock it...
silently, do all the tasks I should do....and listen to some music to try in healing myself to the least....

Currrently, Mr. Dept Head, I don't feel like to talk to you now...
you really pissed me off
it's time for you to face reality....no more bull shit talks
no more dreams....enough is enough...
there's limit of tolerance..
face it, we need more staff......
hmmm....it's cold in here and cloudy outside...what a sweet moment to sleep.....
unfortunately, I am working my ass off today... I have to finish these reports by Friday or Monday the latest, as I have to do the SIT and UAT starting next monday which will take my whole office hours.

Duh, it's really cold ya, n come to my stupidity, I left my blazer/jacket on my bed....stuuuupiiiiddddd.....now I should be satisfied enuff with the warm tea, which is not enuff at all...since the tea is getting colder anyway... well, reading my old posts (last two posts) ....it makes me sound pathetic ya? hehehe......that's why I have this journal for, and its called as the frequencies of life, which shows that my life peak is up and downs.....some posts bring happiness, it could mean that my life is on up side... and while it gave bad mood, sadness types of posts shows that my life is at the down side...simple

I am very sleepy right now, as I went back home quite late last night, I left the office with Lina around 9.30 pm....I probably do that again til this Friday I guess....sometimes I kind of enjoying the silent moment during after office hours...as long as nobody started to scare me off, like last time...Togar, Lina did... scare me by saying hello to the spirits (as they said) damn! I tried to ignore them buy my ears started to blush......overall, love working with them (togar n lina I mean, not the spirits) well, we create all the fun together, give support to each other...not only to work related matters, sometimes when it comes to private life, sort of like love life hahaha...since I'm the youngest among the others, I sorta become the "anak bawang" uh... little kid...sort of like that...

Since my first day in this company, I would get nuts if I don't have this kind work environment, ....if either of us get so stress out, one of us would make jokes, it's silly jokes usually, and we cannot stop laughing... it sorts of like jokes of the day, cuz it won't get that funny anymore on the next day... and the most lovable things to be part of the team is, they don't racist to others....no seniorities is valid around here.... beside my age is youngest, my work period also the newest compare to those two creatures....hehehhee and yesh, I was the only chinese staff among them ( not until willy, another guy came to join us) ....we have this kind of joke, and none of us had ever get insulted ....both of them are Bataknesses, .....

L: "Cina, I'm going home...bye byeee"
Me: "Dahhhh Batak....."

things like this has become daily routines.... we also love to insult each other very often....no hard feeling though...that's why when newcomers heard our jokes, they will think "man, it's rude"
hahahahahahha......it's kinda dull, if we don't start our day by insulting each others....like this morning

L:"WOYYY bangunnn....WOYYY......melekkkk..."
Me: "HAH>???? OMG,,,,udah pagi ya? kirain masih malem...."
L: "ah elo kaya orang korea aja, suka fall asleep, terus sadar, terus kerja lagi"
Me:"hahahaha hahahaha, but y'know that guy is never sleep like the others do, I guess....but wait, we never know ya, since his seat faced to the other side, he probably sit ....with working position.....but he's sleping hhehehehhaheaea"
L:"oh iya ya.....cuma 1 yang bikin seballl....kalo abis sikat gigi, sikat giginya suka ditaro dimeja...taro bunga kek"
Me: "yaa kan cewe yang Korea uda ga ada...jadi ga ada yang taro bunga..jadi ya taro sikat gigi de..."

then we will start to do the work and stuff....hehehehehe.....it's silly sometimes....but we still laugh at it...hmmm......even sometimes I get bored will all the work routines....
well anyway, I better get back to my work, or the "cat" will catch the "mouse" again like last time....*toodles*

Note: the last two posts, I don't purposely to aim it to someone....there's no hard feeling while wrting those two posts, it just flow out from my mind...I write here what I felt, it's my blog, I am free of what I'd like to write....and I've take this blog as part of my mind.... hehehehehe

12.9.05

being honest or tell lies?
it's the hardest part ever in life...at least that's what i feel though
everytime I am being honest to people I know... (to special person of my life...) it will ended they walked away from my life...If I tell lies......they found out, they will also walk away from my life
God, what should I do?T_T

everytime I know someone in my life, hecks.....two weeks later they walk away.... so should I tell the truth about me, or tell lies? I tell the truth, a bitter truth about me, my past life, everything about me...then when the stories don't suit to what they have in mind about me...they walked away... if I never tell the truth, until they found out...they will also walk away...what's up with me and the guys lately ya?T_T

I had this online test couple years ago, and I found out that I'm a "gummy bear candy" type of person, which I have big kind of heart things, simply like how people feel when they eat the gummy candy...it also says, many people take advantage out of myself.....that's why I'm so afraid to have something...I am cautious always, even tho at the end I always fall down. that's me, even tho I already cautious of everything, at the end I am hurt still...if I wasn't cautious at all, it might hurt me more....please to whoever you are, don't let me suffer of heart break anymore.... I'm tired......I'm only 22 and already tired to hunt guys of my lovelife....hehehe weird huh? it probably caused of the heartbreak which come continuously these days...

I know this kinda too fast for me, it's 2 weeks only right.....as casual friend....due to the fact, which I aware of... but, I also wonder, whenever I heard this from other people, it hurt me...why? since I know all the fact between you and me.. I am tremendously happy to know you as my friend...since I never talked to you before, and since I've realized that you're sweet person inside, unlike what I used to have in mind about you before, no offends!!! you guys (korean) annoyed us sometimes....well, I guess you know that right?told you before about that anyway

I am so afraid to find that you will also walk away sooner or later, after knowing the truths about me, all my past life stories, that I'm not as sweet as what you think....geez...am not trying to behave negatively....just a thought of mind, which popped up very often....I am afraid...but it doesn't mean that I don't want to be with you now....I mean to be friends with you now...I still want to know you better though....if you willing to as well of course, if not..I'll stay away from ya...^_^

well, hey....I turn my MSN on yesterday and today....and yet I can't see you online, oh probably you are very busy with your trainings and family ya....ah ya, I forgot that you actually told me it's thanksgiving day in korea, and your grandparent is sick.....hope you have great times there...

regards,
me- 20434 (you know what's that right?)